Shaila’s Weblog

Posts Tagged ‘joke

Welcome to The Hotelicopter.

Experience the adrenaline rush of taking off and flying high in the largest helicopter ever produced.
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If you have interest, there are three fly tours.

Inaugural Summer Tour – 14 days (Friday, June 26th, 2009 – Friday, July 10th, 2009)

California Tour – 14 days (Friday, July 17th, 2009 to Friday, July 24rd, 2009)

Bay/Jamaica, European Tour – 16 days (Friday, July 31st, 2009 to Sunday, August 16th, 2009)

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Dimensions Length: 42 m (137 ft)
Height: 28m (91 ft)
Maximum Takeoff Weight: 105850 kg (232,870 lb)
Maximum speed: 255 km/h (137 kt) (158 miles/h)
Cruising speed: 237 km/h (127 kt) (147 miles/h)
Original Mi Range: 515 km (320 mi)
Our augmented Mi Range – 1,296 km (700 mi)

The Hotelicopter features 18 luxuriously-appointed rooms for adrenaline junkies seeking a truly unique and memorable travel experience.
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Each soundproofed room is equipped with a queen-sized bed, fine linens, a mini-bar, coffee machine, wireless internet access, and all the luxurious appointments you’d expect from a flying five star hotel. Room service is available one hour after liftoff and prior to landing.

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The Hotelicopter’s excellent crew and staff make your security and safety their number one priority. Our vehicle meets or exceeds all safety, operating, and maintenance requirements outlined by the FAA in the CFR (Code of Federal Regulations) relating to transport category rotorcraft.

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The Hotelicopter is due to fly its maiden journey this summer.

Here is the Video

This is the best internet prank that I have ever seen…. Enjoy!

Daily Dilbert Fun
Dilbert.com

Me and My Boss

boss-employee

When I take a long time to finish,

I am slow,

When my boss takes a long time,

he is thorough

AngerWhen I don’t do it,

I am lazy,

When my boss does not do it,

he is busy,

bossy-woman

When I do something without being told,

I am trying to

be smart,

When my boss does the same,

he takes the initiative,

When I please my boss,

I am apple polishing,

When my boss pleases his boss,

he is cooperating,

When I make a mistake,

I’ am an idiot.

When my boss makes a mistake,

he’s only human.

When I am out of the office,

I am wondering around.

When my boss is out of the office,

he’s on business.

boss-toons

When I am on a day off sick,

I am always sick.

When my boss is a day off sick,

he must be very ill.

When I apply for leave,

I must be going for an

interview

When my boss applies for leave,

it’s because he’s

overworked

When I do good,

my boss never remembers,

When I do wrong,

he never forgets

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it’s not Walter who’s lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, “Please come out and give yourself up.”

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn’t control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: “Give me all your money or I’ll shoot”, the man shouted, “that’s not what I said!”.

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??? A man spoke frantically into the phone: “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart”. “Is this her first child?” the doctor asked. “No!” the man shouted, “This is her husband!”

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!

8. AND THE WINNER IS….. Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER…THIS IS TRUE. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

Heyyy You how you will present yourself in the most modest manner —

Do you wish to upgrade your RAM??

Heyyy.. Do I look like Clark Kent ??

Shit!!! Wherever you go 🙂 Travel – Toilet!

Hide n Seek 😀

Fraternity Twins

I thought this is funny, share your views too..


TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America ..
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’T
EACHER: No, that’s wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘I.’
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie….. Always say, ‘I am.’
MILLIE: All right….. ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louis, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It’s the same dog.

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher


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