Shaila’s Weblog

Posts Tagged ‘jokes

Daily Dilbert Fun
Dilbert.com

Advertisements

Me and My Boss

boss-employee

When I take a long time to finish,

I am slow,

When my boss takes a long time,

he is thorough

AngerWhen I don’t do it,

I am lazy,

When my boss does not do it,

he is busy,

bossy-woman

When I do something without being told,

I am trying to

be smart,

When my boss does the same,

he takes the initiative,

When I please my boss,

I am apple polishing,

When my boss pleases his boss,

he is cooperating,

When I make a mistake,

I’ am an idiot.

When my boss makes a mistake,

he’s only human.

When I am out of the office,

I am wondering around.

When my boss is out of the office,

he’s on business.

boss-toons

When I am on a day off sick,

I am always sick.

When my boss is a day off sick,

he must be very ill.

When I apply for leave,

I must be going for an

interview

When my boss applies for leave,

it’s because he’s

overworked

When I do good,

my boss never remembers,

When I do wrong,

he never forgets

Dress to Impress

807008

My boyfriend and I were taking his 19-year-old niece to a weekend festival. When we arrived at her house to pick her up, she appeared in tasteful but very short shorts, and a tank top with spaghetti straps. A debate began immediately about appropriate dress. I took the girl’s side, recalling that when we began dating, I dressed the same way.

“Yes,” said my boyfriend sternly, “and I said something about it, didn’t I?”

Everyone looked at me. “Yeah,” I replied. “You said, ‘What’s your phone number?'”

_____________XXXXXXXX____________XXXX_________XXXXXXXXX__

Guilty Tax Payer

taxes

Dear IRS: I’m sending you this money because I cheated on my income tax and my conscience has been bothering me. If it doesn’t stop, I’ll send you the rest.

_____________XXXXXXXX____________XXXX_________XXXXXXXXX__

Last 5 seconds before time’s up

Heyyy You how you will present yourself in the most modest manner —

Do you wish to upgrade your RAM??

Heyyy.. Do I look like Clark Kent ??

Shit!!! Wherever you go 🙂 Travel – Toilet!

Hide n Seek 😀

Fraternity Twins

I thought this is funny, share your views too..


TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America ..
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’T
EACHER: No, that’s wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘I.’
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie….. Always say, ‘I am.’
MILLIE: All right….. ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louis, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It’s the same dog.

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

I came across an interesting spreadsheet today in my inbox saying make your boss’s face today… it was having many features though… i wouldn’t use it…as I am not the one being frustated by bossy types..:) with no offence, I created one funny cartoon for him… hope you will like it.  At the same time, I m putting this post in Inspiration corridors as he is a Pro and a model of excellence for us…


a

Pages

October 2017
M T W T F S S
« May    
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031